You might have seen this before, but if it gives you a laugh and helps you understand older folks better, here you go… 

On the kitchen on the wall, we only had one phone with no need for recording things, because someone was always home. We only had a living room where we would congregate, unless it was at mealtime in the kitchen where we ate. We had no need for family rooms or extra rooms to dine. When meeting as a family those two rooms would work out fine.  

We only had one TV set and channels maybe two, but always there was one of them with something worth the view.  

For snacks we had potato chips that tasted like a chip. And if you wanted flavor there was Lipton's onion dip. Store-bought snacks were rare because my mother liked to cook and nothing can compare to snacks in Betty Crocker's book.  

Weekends were for family trips or staying home to play. We all did things together --even go to church to pray. When we did our weekend trips depending on the weather, no one stayed at home because we liked to be together.  

Sometimes we would separate to do things on our own, but we knew where the others were without our own cell phone.  Then there were the movies with your favorite movie star, and nothing can compare to watching movies in your car.  

Then there were the picnics at the peak of summer season, pack a lunch and find some trees and never need a reason.  

Get a baseball game together with all the friends you know, have real action playing ball --and no game video.  

Remember when the doctor used to be the family friend, and didn't need insurance or a lawyer to defend? The way that he took care of you or what he had to do, because he took an oath and strived to do the best for you.  

Remember going to the store and shopping casually, and when you went to pay for it you used your own money? Nothing that you had to swipe or punch in some amount, and remember when the cashier person had to really count?  

The milkman used to go from door to door, And it was just a few cents more than going to the store.  

There was a time when mailed letters came right to your door, without a lot of junk mail ads sent out by every store. The mailman knew each house by name and knew where it was sent; there were not loads of mail addressed to "present occupant."  

There was a time when just one glance was all that it would take, and you would know the kind of car, the model and the make. They didn't look like turtles trying to squeeze out every mile; they were streamlined, white walls, fins and really had some style.  

One time the music that you played whenever you would jive, was from a vinyl, big-holed record called a forty-five. The record player had a post to keep them all in line and then the records would drop down and play one at a time.  

Oh sure, we had our problems then, just like we do today and always we were striving, trying for a better way.  

Oh, the simple life we lived still seems like so much fun, how can you explain a game, just kick the can and run?  

And why would boys put baseball cards between bicycle spokes and for a nickel, red machines had little bottled Cokes?  

This life seemed so much easier and slower in some ways. I love the new technology but I sure do miss those days. 

So time moves on and so do we and nothing stays the same, but I sure love to reminisce and walk down memory lane. With all today's technology we grant that it's a plus!  

But it's fun to look way back and say,”Hey Look, guys, THAT WAS US!”

1. Send  clients links to articles you run across from awards they receive or interviews about them.  

2. Collect business cards to enter into your Contact Management System CRM and follow-up with EVERYONE you meet.  You never know who will be your next customer or who they could refer you to. 

3. Use thank-you notes, birthday and anniversary cards and other personal notes to keep in touch with all your customers.  It's easier to maintain an existing client relationship than build a new one, so don't take anyone for granted.   

4. Send clients and potential clients links to articles you come across that might be helpful to them in their businesses. 

5. Use unique and useful specialty advertising items to keep your company name and logo in front of everyone on a daily basis. 

6. Use "on-hold" telephone advertising to suggest additional products or services. 

7. Provide a tip of the day, week or month for customers waiting on the phone or place these in your newsletter emails or on your web site in a blog. 

8. Change your voicemail messages often to keep customers informed of your whereabouts and other important information. 

9. Always carry your business cards with you even on your days off and vacations!  Talk about your business wherever you go. 

10. Keep copies of any article links about your business for future use in your newsletter emails or frame them to put on your store walls for continued credibility.

Buy See Dick and Jane Start a Homebased Business for more Profitable Tips…

Today I decided to share info I heard from JJ Richa, Business Consultant with Orange County SBDC.  

 Tips for Success:  

1. Have a passion for what you do. 

2. Project honesty, trustworthiness, and work ethic. 

3. Be flexible, nimble, and stick to your core values.

4. Don't be afraid of failure and don't let it hold you back. 

5. Make timely decisions and don't miss on opportunities. 

6. Take care of yourself as you are the major business asset. 

7. Believe in yourself and the success of your company. 

8. Be tenacious but know when to quit or when to continue. 

9. Accept criticism and admit your mistakes. 

10. Rebound quickly from setbacks or falls.

 Traps to Avoid:  

1.  Business Plans are for Dummies - statements like this hinder your success! 

2. My products/services are so great; everyone will love it - not usually the case! 

3. If I build it, customers will buy; no need for marketing - are you certain? 

4. I don't have any competitors - think about it, maybe there is a reason for it! 

5. I have more features than all the competitors combined - Simple sells! 

6. I'm the first mover - concentrate on differentiating yourself from the rest instead! 

7. I don't have to risk my own money; I'll use other people's money - no skin in the game! 

8. Me, Myself and I - keep your ego aside and concentrate on making money! 

9. I'm small and nimble for the big guys to keep up with me - Really? 

10. Major clients will sign contracts as soon as we open doors - Don't bet your life on it!

Dave asked Dad to hire an accountant, but he constantly refused. He’d always done his own taxes and he said he didn't want to burden an accountant with his piles of paper.  We thought he was probably more than a bit embarrassed, too. 

Dad hadn’t paid his taxes for the last 3 or 4 years, though he had apparently paid his quarterly estimated taxes and applied for extensions.  

I understood a bit about taxes, so I offered to help Dave deal with the IRS, which by this time was sending threatening letters.  

Dave was thankful for the help, so I told him not to bother asking Dad about the taxes anymore.  I just asked him to grab any papers Dad might have so Julie and I could begin to reconstruct the tax years when we visited.  

Dave discussed with Dad the idea of my taking him to see the IRS in person and he liked that because he wanted to explain why he had stopped filing returns.  

Our goal was to get permission for Dave’s CPA to help do Dad’s taxes. But Dad made it abundantly clear that he wouldn't sign returns prepared by anyone we hired.  

During our next visit Julie and I took him to an appointment with the IRS, where they convinced him to sign an IRS form 2848* to allow Dave’s CPA to untangle his tax mess. As a result, his back taxes were finally prepared and ready to sign and a large check to pay off all the back taxes and penalties was submitted..

Note:   When the trash wasn’t picked up for several weeks, Dave discovered that Dad had failed to pay the bill.  And, amazingly, Dave was successful in convincing Dad that if he became a signer on Dad’s checking account, Dave could help to pay the bills. After many conversational battles, Dad agreed. Dave easily paid the bills on-line and I was  a back-up signer. Dad’s finances finally seemed under control…but wait! 

Dave eventually got  Dad to sign off on a partial Power of Attorney, but apparently the IRS would not accept Dave's limited Power of Attorney signature, so they refused the returns and the payments!  We were back to square one, unless Dad signed the returns… 

Dave emailed:

“This opened a can of worms when I had to call it to Dad's attention. He got upset with me for signing them. He threatened me with reporting me to the IRS for this and with opening his mail. He wasn't going to sign the forms! I had him talk to the CPA about it. The conversation went in circles for 1/2 an hour or so. Finally the CPA convinced Dad that he knew what he was doing and he prepared the returns and that Dad should sign.”

 After 8 years, we were finally successful in handling this major financial mess with the IRS and Dad’s taxes were paid. All that was left was the negotiation process to get some of the penalties refunded or reduced due to our Dad’s Dementia and obvious inability to file his taxes. 

Dave never discussed taxes with Dad again.

* The IRS only honors their form 2848 for anyone paying another person’s taxes (including a family member.)

Sponsor a food or activity booth at a community event (Chili Cook-off, 4th of July Celebration, etc.) 

Participate in a parade with quality signage and creative costumes or floats to draw attention to what you have to offer.  Distribute discount flyers/coupons as your "entourage"` passes by.  

Hold a Grand Opening or Anniversary Celebration special promotion and publicize it.  

Write an article for a trade journal or consumer Social Media page/publication/blog or website and become an instant expert in your field.  

Visit several business referral, networking clubs and trade organizations; attend Chamber of Commerce mixers, then join the ones that will best promote your business and offer you the support you need. 

Save your "junk mail" or “junk SM ads” if a particular promotion catches your eye.  This can provide you with samples of ads which you might like to adapt to your business.   

Always participate in free listing opportunities, especially those connected to quality nonprofit organizations. 

Send out a press release or email announcement every time something happens at your company - grand openings/anniversaries, hirings, promotions, when you make a donation,  run a promotion, receive an award , etc. 

Watch your competition for unique things they are doing and try to match it with something equally creative.  Always know what your competition has to offer.  Stay actively "in the game." 

Think big!  Consider skywriting or flying a banner over potential customers (especially good during a large community event - parade, celebration, etc.)  Sponsor or co-sponsor a hot air balloon.

We had just returned to California, when Dave emailed:

“On Dad's way to church today he had a collision with a cow that was in the road. He says the cow ran into him, spun him around and the car went off down a bank into the field - about 50 feet. He was unhurt, but the car has major damage. We don't know about the cow. It ran off.”

Following the incident with the cow, the attorney offered to drop off the estate papers; so Dad wouldn't have to drive 50 miles in bad weather…but Dad flatly refused!  Once his car was repaired, he insisted upon driving himself to the attorney’s office.

Then Dave discovered that his medication was making him sleepy, causing us additional driving concerns. He wasn’t on any other medications, so we thought the driving issues had been resolved, but…

Five months later, Dave’s Office Manager said several neighbors told her about some of the near misses they had witnessed.

Simultaneously, Dave discovered that his doctor had added another medication.  In researching the side effects of this new drug, Dave found that it can cause permanent loss of mental capacity. He discussed this with Dad and suggested he make a choice between continuing to drive and taking the new med.  Dad immediately denied having any loss of mental capacity.

Then Dad was diagnosed with Cataracts, which leads to a decrease in vision and he was told that he should not be driving at night.

By January, Dad had begun driving after dark again. He would get up at noon, have lunch, take a nap then go into town in the late afternoon. As a result, he didn't have enough time to get back before dark. Dave offered to come pick him up, but Dad never called.

Dave shared that our normally law abiding father had been stopped by the police twice, because of his erratic nighttime driving. They called Dave to come get Dad.

Armed with this new information, Dave took the keys away from Dad, whenever he noticed that he wasn't fit to drive.  Dad got very upset that Dave was interfering with his life.

Finally Dave had to give him an ultimatum. If the police called him to rescue Dad again, he would request that they suspend his license…

On top of this, Dad received his first speeding ticket ever! His explanation…he was simply following the car in front of him, going at the same speed. He seemed to have an excuse for everything!

Dave had become so desperate over Dad’s driving that he asked for my help, so I emailed the following to the NY State DMV: 

“My brother and 93 year old elderly Dad live together in upstate NY.  I am in CA. My brother has finally decided that Dad has had too many accidents, a speeding ticket and other driving problems to be safe on the road.  His driving has already been restricted to daylight driving only. He barely passed his driving test a few months ago. Is there a way to ANONYMOUSLY report a parent who is now an unsafe driver due to age?”

 They explained that Dad needed another Driver Review.  They wouldn't just take away his license.  We hoped this would make him finally listen to Dave about his driving. 

 Dave responded with more details of Dad’s latest accident…

 “Dad went into a ditch on today. This time he had no excuses. The weather was clear and it was in the daytime. He was headed north, so the sun could not have been in his eyes. He said something about the speed limit change and a curve. It made no sense to me. Yes, the road turns there and the speed limit changes, but so what!  Someone beat us to the punch in reporting him. There are others trying to get him to give up driving. I am trying to get him to stop voluntarily, before he is forced to. I told him that I would take him to his Driver Review Road Test. I reminded him that they would ask both of us questions. I told him I will answer their questions truthfully and completely and I will not cover for him. So, now he says he will arrange for someone else to go with him to the Road Test…”

 Dave sent me an email update:

 “Dad hasn't gone anywhere all week, since we picked up his car at the body shop. As a result of the letter he received (from the DMV), I gave him a lecture and asked him to voluntarily stop driving and he seems to be moving again on matters of the estate and Jon's affairs (our younger brother). He’s really very depressed about the possibility of losing his license. I talked with him this AM about home care having a driving service. He was very enthusiastic about it. He didn't know such a service was available. He is willing to use it.”

 A month later Dave’s email said:

 ”Dad failed his Road Test. He insisted that he didn't have the right paperwork from his doctor. He drove all the way to his doctor’s office to get it. By the time he got to the DMV, he was too tired. He was also constipated and feeling poorly. So, he failed to parallel park properly.”

Dad remained hopeful that he would get his license back, though none of us wanted him driving and we all knew he shouldn't be.

I remember thinking, “I’m sorry Dad, but that’s just not going to happen!”

1. Sponsor a community youth sports team and splash your logo and company name on uniforms and signs on the field. (Things are opening up, so grab your opportunity now!)

2. Join a local service club and become very active in your volunteer efforts. 

3. Offer to sell tickets for a nonprofit organization and be sure your name, company, phone and sometimes address appears as a supporter in their publicity. 

4. Offer to be a drop off point for programs such as "Toys for Tots".  Encourage nonprofit organizations to use your premises for things like car washes and give them quality signs to advertise it. 

5. Donate something to a nonprofit cause and ask to be recognized as a donor. (Fundraising events should begin again soon.) 

6. Participate in discount or coupon programs that bring in new customers, especially those benefiting nonprofit causes. 

7. Look like a "good guy" -- offer a percentage of your proceeds to a specific nonprofit cause and insert details about the program in all your ads and publicity. (NOTE: Our company supports BridgeofHope,Inc.) 

8. Offer yourself as a free public speaker for local service clubs and other organizations in need of speakers. (This makes you a respected expert in your field.) 

9. Look for innovative ways to improve your community.  In California our state highways authority (Cal Trans) allows companies to sponsor a section of highway to keep it free of litter. 

10. Let nonprofit groups distribute flyers about their organization or an upcoming fundraiser or, better yet , put one of their flyers in customer's packages as they leave your store.   Also let organizations place their posters in your window.

As soon as I heard about Mom’s stroke, Julie and I made arrangements to fly back East. We traveled through the night, arriving as soon as we could, but we were too late…

Mom had just succumbed to her stroke.

So we switched gears to help Dad make funeral arrangements.  Julie was extremely helpful in doing Internet research, so we knew exactly how to help Dad.

Dad confessed that he had not finished writing Mom’s will.  He was feeling remorseful and guilty since, for whatever reason, he had not done it. As we explored the ramifications, we discovered everything had been put into Mom’s name.

I got Dad’s permission to donate Mom’s clothing and personal belongings before we left. My only regret came when Dad asked me where Mom’s bathrobe was.  He missed seeing it on the back of the bathroom door. 

Mom’s dying without a will complicated things (New York is not a community property state), but as a former attorney it made sense that Dad would serve as the Administrator of her estate.

Dad seemed to be falling apart with the stress of losing his wife of almost 62 years and the responsibility of settling her estate.

Following her death, he felt helpless and lost not only emotionally, but also financially.  He was struggling to figure out our mother’s estate and, in the process, irrationally saw a lack of funds.  It probably didn’t help that he was behind on his taxes.

During our second visit that year, Julie slowly obtained Dad’s permission to file his papers. A trusting relationship was developing between them.  This often happens with grandparents and grandchildren and I think Dad still saw me as the rebellious 16 year old I had been 45 years before!  This is common.  Senior parents may be very proud of their accomplished children, but it is often difficult for them to see their offspring as the professionals that they have become. As parents age, a role reversal begins taking place.

In any case, Dad was very protective of his filing system (all over the floor and couches on one side of the living room.)  He remained secretive and protective of his finances, making it very difficult for us to be of any real help.

Julie slowly began organizing Dad’s mail and important papers, so he could begin on his taxes.  He had always done his own taxes, but Mom’s death seemed to have disturbed his process of filing for extensions, etc.

As our visits became more frequent, we began sorting through the legal issues involved in settling the estate and the back taxes Dad had failed to file. This was all complicated further by Dad’s extreme privacy about his financial affairs and complete lack of a filing system…

We were finally able to settle Mom’s estate.  However, shortly after setting the estate Dad's confusion, which had improved greatly, took a turn for the worse.  It was almost as if he had held himself together to get things done and then just fell apart.

Emails from Dave began describing episodes of confusion and disturbing behavior.

 “Dad has been making an absolute disaster of the house! I can't find the records to give to the accountant. Tough to schedule a caregiver because Dad does not sleep on any kind of schedule. It's a 50/50 chance he will be asleep or awake at any given moment. 

I received the packet of info from the Geriatric Care Manager with the symptoms of Dementia. Dad is exhibiting a large number of the symptoms - 70% of Mild symptoms, 50% of Moderate symptoms and 30% of severe symptoms.” 

During our May 2012 visit we noticed that Dad had become mellower and more compliant – still refused to use a walker, wheelchair or the motor cart in Walmart. He moved very slowly with a bit of a shuffle. He was often fixated on issues. 

He clearly used coping methods during the Geriatric Care Manager’s evaluation.  When asked today’s date, he requested his newspaper.  He confused relationships between Julie and me (granddaughter, daughter.)

Very, very tough visit, but we got a lot accomplished.

Prior to leaving for California, I set things in motion for Dad’s personal care from a caregiver …

Being a stay-at-home mom is anything but easy! Heck, being a mom in general is tough—but I have come to learn a lot since becoming a mother.

I am a stay-at-home mom to my fifteen-month-old son. I have grown to love staying at home with him but believe me, there were days that I wanted to go back to work and have my mother or a nanny take care of my son while I worked.

When my son was only a few months old, he was easy to take care of. I could leave him in his bassinet and he would stay there at least for an hour while I got things done. Once he became more active and mobile is when I was constantly after him making sure he wouldn’t get hurt or get into anything he wasn’t supposed to. He also became more fussy and demanding while I got impatient and frustrated at times.

I know I don’t have a lot of experience yet as a mother but from the experience I do have, I have come up with some tips on how to stay sane and actually enjoy being a stay-at-home mom. Learning from mistakes I made in the past, I’ve developed new habits and made some changes that have helped me become a more patient, loving and attentive parent.

Here are my 10 tips and tricks I’ve learned and applied to my daily life to help me stay sane as a stay-at-home mom.

1. Staying Organized

Motherhood is already messy and it can become messier when we don’t have structure and organization in our daily lives. I remember waking up next to my son after his morning nap looking at the time and feeling like I wasted the morning sleeping or just scrolling through my feed on Instagram. I was tired of the cycle of feeling like I was wasting time and not getting much done.

I finally decided to start planning out my day. I got myself a nifty little planner and wrote out the activities for the day. I loved it! I loved having my planner there to remind me of what was next. Now I’m not saying it all goes as planned because life with children is so unpredictable sometimes but for the most part, I followed through with my planner and had a set time for each activity. I even made it a goal to exercise daily and I find myself feeling great and very productive!

2. Wake Up Early

I know this one may be a tough task to accomplish especially if your little one still wakes up at night, but making an effort to wake up a little earlier than your spouse and baby gives you time to yourself to catch up on reading, drink your coffee (while its still hot), workout or whatever you want to do.

I like waking up an hour before my son wakes up. I have my cup of coffee while I read The Word. This sets the tone for the rest of the day. I enjoy listening to worship music while reading The Bible and having some quiet time before the chaos begins.

3. Exercise

Did you know that when you exercise your body releases endorphins that make you feel good? Yep. I experience that every time I workout. Since the beginning of 2018, I have made it a goal to exercise at least four times a week. Not only am I getting back in shape but I feel more energized and happy because I know that I did something good for myself.

Getting that workout in each day is like having “me time” even if it is only for thirty minutes. I can assure you that getting some exercise each day will elevate your mood.

4. Take a Break

You are not weak if you ask the grandparents or a babysitter to watch the kids for a few hours while you go get a pedicure, run some errands or do some shopping. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. We all need help sometimes!

Taking a short break even if it’s for two hours will help you relax, take a breather and relieve some stress. Parenting comes with many challenges and we can’t always face those challenges on our own. I’m so thankful for grandparents because they are always willing to babysit for occasional date nights or whatever need may arise.

5. Keep a Journal

Writing has always been something I have loved to do! I have many journals filled with thoughts, dreams, prayers and revelations The Lord has given me. What I can’t express verbally, I do it in writing and I find that it brings me some relief writing my thoughts down. If you had a tough day, write it down. Years later you can look back on those hard times and be thankful that they were only for a season. I like writing letters to God because He alone gives us the strength we need to live each day. Journal what’s important to you.

6. Find a Hobby

I took it upon myself to start learning how to play the guitar this year. My husband plays, I sing and I have always wanted to raise a family where we are musically inclined and talented. While my toddler is busy playing or is entertained, I practice at least thirty to forty minutes a day.

I have already learned some chords and am excited to continue learning. Not only is it fun, but learning something new makes you feel productive and just great overall.

7. Spend Time With Other Moms

Spending time with other moms is another way to relieve some stress the day may bring. Go grab some coffee with a friend and just chat and catch up. When mothers unite, we can encourage each other when we face certain challenges.

We have common ground and an understanding of what it is like being a parent. Now I’m not saying to go to someone just to vent or complain but to genuinely build strong friendships with other women will really help you in the journey of motherhood.

8. Get Out of the House

It can get tiring for mom and baby to always be at home. There will always be things to do around the house: there will always be dishes to wash, laundry to do, trash to take out, crumbs to sweep off the floor, etc.

I like going for a walk with my son when the weather is nice. We get some sunshine and fresh air and enjoy being out of the house. Taking the kids to the park will also give you a little break from housework. Not to mention, they will get worn out doing all that running and playing which might result in a nap once you get home.

9. Get Ready

I have always struggled to get ready even when my son was a few months old. I was either too lazy or the moment I attempted to get ready, my baby would cry for my attention. Some days I lived in my pajamas but I also felt extremely unproductive when I didn’t make an effort to get ready.

I try my best to get ready every day after my workout now. Even if I only apply a little makeup and get dressed, I feel put together and ready for the day. Plus, if you have to go somewhere all of the sudden, you will be ready to head out the door.

Yes, I understand that it is hard and I even found myself applying mascara while holding my baby at times (whatever works for you). Now that he is a toddler, I let him cry for a bit because sometimes there is just no way around it.

10. Count Your Blessings

Sometimes, we can fall prey to whining and complain when our children are fussy or when they throw a temper tantrum or make a huge mess. Sometimes our emotions will match our child’s emotions but it shouldn’t be that way.

In moments when you feel like you have it hard and that no one understands you, remember that there are so many mothers out there that wish they could stay home and raise their children, but can’t. It’s going to be hard and frustrating but it is a blessing to be a stay-at-home mom because you are raising your child the way that you want.

You do not have to worry about what your kids are learning and picking up if other people take care of them. You have the opportunity to mold your child and watch all of their milestones when you stay at home with them. Remember to try and have a grateful heart.

 ABOUT THE WRITER

Nallely Rodriguez

Born and raised in Texas. Married to a hard-working loving man. Stay-at-home mom to a sixteen-month-old son. I'm a believer and am saved by His grace. Aspiring author to blog, Running on Caffeine and a coffee lover. I enjoy encouraging mothers on the journey of motherhood. 

Families can save money to help their parents handle their expenses.  These are five hints for seniors, which can also apply to their families.

Take recycling to new levels and make unique craft items, reuse containers, use scraps of yarn and fabric, etc. Make it a special project to do with the grandchildren.  Grandparents can also help save containers for grandchildren’s school projects.  (This allows seniors to feel like they are being helpful and needed.)

My mother showed me how to fold up and re-use tin foil! (She survived The Great Depression.)  Remember that saving even a few pennies on many things can add up to substantial savings.

Explore sharing and borrowing.  Go in with neighbors for things you can share.  Share movies, books, video games, etc. Getting to know your neighbors is a good thing anyway! (This has been especially important during Covid 19.)

Always ask for the Senior Discount (note this can begin happening as early as age 50!).  Use 2 for 1 coupons and go with a friend.  Drink flavored water instead of (unhealthy) soda!

Don’t forget to bargain, haggle, and negotiate.  There is no shame in doing it.  It’s done every day in other countries.  Check the Internet for the best price and ask if the brick and mortar store will match the price.  The key is to talk with the manager/owner (the person with the authority to say “yes”) and be very polite and patient.

Watch for more money saving techniques in future blogs.

Written by Christopher Curley on April 23, 2020 — Fact checked by Dana K. Cassell

Experts say new parents need to share the load with child-raising and housework. They should also seek virtual assistance from family and friends. Getty Images

• Experts say COVID-19 sheltering in place has added more burdens on the parents of new babies.

• They say it’s important for new parents to seek out virtual assistance from friends and family.

• They also advise that friends and family can develop meal trains to drop off food.

• Experts also urge new parents to practice self-care and share the load with child-raising and housework.

All data and statistics are based on publicly available data at the time of publication. Some information may be out of date. Visit our coronavirus hub and follow our live updates page for the most recent information on the COVID-19 outbreak.

New parenthood, especially the first year or two after a baby is born, can have a severe effect on one’s happiness and quality of life.

Furthermore, the depth of the challenges of the first birth experience can have a significant effect on parents’ likelihood of having additional children, research shows.

All of that was true before the COVID-19 pandemic.

Now, new mothers and fathers have been forced to physically distance themselves from friends and family for their safety.

In doing so, these new parents are losing critical early postpartum support they might have had otherwise.

“Parenting today is already much harder than it used to be,” said Dr. Harvey Karp, FAAP, the CEO of Happiest Baby and author of “The Happiest Baby on the Block.”

“In the past, parents could rely on their extended families — literal villages — to share some of the parenting load. Today, we think of having a nanny as a luxury, but the reality is that in centuries past, no couple ever had to do baby care all on their own. Families always had the support of several helpers,” Karp said.

“That level of support has evaporated over time, leaving parents with the totally false idea that normal parents are supposed to do all this on their own,” Karp told Healthline. “And now with shelter in place, we’ve almost totally lost the option to invite others over to hold the baby or help cook a meal.”

(NOTE:  This is where our Mom Friends Groups of Encouragement Led By A Mentor Mom© are helpful. Please check menu above for further information.)

Self-isolation could also increase risks of postpartum depression and anxiety, experts say.

“We know that isolation and increased stress can trigger perinatal depression and anxiety. As can decreased wages, job loss, and lack of school support for other kids at home round out the stresses that can cause new parents (including fathers) depression and anxiety,” said Dr. Jonathan Goldfinger, an advisor to California’s surgeon general and the California Department of Health Care Services, as well as the senior physician adviser and medical director at Mahmee.

“This is why it’s so important to focus on parents’ mental and behavioral health both during shelter in place and once we begin the important but likely prolonged process of reengaging in person as a society,” Goldfinger told Healthline.

Virtual resources and self-care 

Focusing on mental health and social support at a time of self-isolation means turning to telehealth and virtual communities to replace those in-person interactions.

“During shelter in place, I’ve been working with new families and their village of support to have their needs met creatively or in the virtual space,” said Greer Kirshenbaum, PhD, a neuroscientist and doula whose company, Nurture Neuroscience, focuses on “creating layers of support for families” in the postpartum period.

Here are some action steps she suggests:

• To meet the need for lactation support, lactation consultants are doing virtual appointments and hosting daily lactation support groups online.

• Organize a meal train for families where loved ones can drop off meals to the family’s door or order takeout for the family.

• Create a “social meal train” to meet the socialization need for families, such as scheduling regular Zoom calls with family and friends. New families can also join online parent groups, parent and baby groups, music groups, and sleep support groups.

• Families and friends can send thoughtful gifts for baby and for parents to “show love from afar.”

• For self-care, encourage parents to spend 10 minutes a day for themselves. This can be as simple as a few minutes alone reading, breathing, or speaking to a loved one.

“With both partners at home, it’s more essential for both partners to have some alone time. During the pandemic, we can’t rely on people or programs to give us time for ourselves, and it’s necessary,” Kirshenbaum told Healthline.

In addition to these steps, several online services, such as boober and Phoebe, offer virtual postpartum resources that parents can access, including mental health support.

“All providers are currently virtual due to COVID-19,” Jada Shapiro, founder of boober, told Healthline. “Boober fast-tracked mental health therapists knowing there would be significantly more anxiety at this time, and has seen an uptick of people who have never seen a therapist before reaching out for support and help to get through these uncertain and stressful times.”

Susan Geffen’s Featured Article from her e-Newsletter Magazine, Nov 2012

Multigenerational Households

According to U.S. Census Bureau, the number of multigenerational households has grown by 60% since 1990.  

 The Pew Research Center has reported that one in eight Americans between the ages of 40 and 60 is now caring for a parent at home. This is partly attributable to the recent economic downturn that has affected both baby boomers that see failing pensions and higher healthcare costs as well as college graduates who cannot afford their student debt and housing.  

 There are cultural reasons for this demographic trend as well. There is an increase in the numbers of Latino and Asian households in the United States - both native-born and immigrant, who have been culturally indoctrinated into traditions of caring for young and old in multigenerational settings.

And then there is love. In this month's video (above), you have an opportunity to see a family, ages 8-80 that are doing so for love; the pure and beautifully simple desire to be in it together. Each member of this family in their own way expressed that living to together has enhanced family bonds and relationships. Importantly, studies that have demonstrated that older adults who engage with children have numerous positive outcomes, including decreased depression, better health, and a renewed sense of purpose. 

 (Click here to see the rest of this article) 

A while ago my Pastor focused on “A Vision for Families”.He pointed out that the people closest to our children, those who interact with them daily, have the greatest impact on them. Is that you or have you relinquished your childrearing to others? I believe so firmly that children need at least one parent available on a moment by moment basis if it’s at all possible.

You have probably had a good opportunity to be with your kids during the current Covid 19 isolation. And, admittedly, because this was forced upon you and you lacked the preparation for what would come; it has not been easy! I’m sure there have been days that you and your children had some tough times spending so much time together. But, I imagine you have also had some wonderful days getting to know each other better.

For years I have been passionate about making it possible for parents to choose to be stay at home parents (SAHP).  My husband and I did it ourselves. Now, our grandchildren have all been raised by a SAHP. Our kids saw the value in this and they made the sacrifices needed to accomplish it as goal for their families.

I pray you have not lost jobs during the shutdown or experienced financial consequences, but maybe this makes it the perfect time to consider all your options as we move toward the workplace once again. Perhaps, even if there has been a job loss, this makes it the perfect time to consider SAHP on a permanent basis.

Quit Your Job! You Really Can Afford Stay at Home Parenthood was written with tears of joy and sadness, sprinkled with happy smiles as I share heartwarming and humorous times making it as fun to read as it is informative. It can help you decide if this is possible for your own family. Of course, you need to find ways to make money, but learning to save money is the best way to start. This valuable resource will open your eyes to the real costs of having a dual income family where both parents have full time careers outside their home. It will introduce you to methods of cutting expenses, as well as, other information related to parenting,  money saving techniques and homebased business creation. For the first time parents have what they need to plan and change their families for the better – all in one place. This Bibically-based book effectively ties everything together to encourage families to prepare for a new day, a new season – a new normal.

Now is the time…

The Bible tells us to teach our children to love God with all their hearts (Deut. 6:5-7), which begs the question who is introducing your kids to their Maker?  Children need to be taught how to obey God,  because, as my Pastor reminded us, “our children’s rebellious hearts need to be softened toward God.”

So, another question emerges. Are those who care for your children doing this?

Honestly, I believe the only way parents can do this is to have one loving parent at home 24/7. Please, at least consider it, for your family.

Many women get started in business by accident, without a plan.  Perhaps, you make a piece of jewelry and all your friends want you to make one for them and they offer to pay you for your creation. You experiment with more pieces and suddenly everyone seems to want your jewelry.  You love making jewelry and you excitedly start your business.

While you might make money doing this, at some point your business may fail because it wasn’t started as a business in the first place.

Successful businesses start with planning, but unless you are looking for a business loan you probably don’t need a huge, formal business plan.  But, you do need a plan of some sort!

You need something to guide you through your daily activities to avoid stress, move your business forward and continue to have fun doing it.

A quick read of my January 21, 2021 blog Goal Setting for 2021 Jeanne Gormick could be helpful.

I also recommend a call to your local Small Business Administration office. They offer free seminars and services to increase your chances of success.

To get you started on the right foot, the following is an excerpt from my book See Dick and Jane Start a Homebased Business.

 (Chapter 1)

See Dick and Jane Do Their Homework...

Dick and Jane want to sell Widgets. See Jane file the “fictitious name statement."

See Dick call the city to get the business license. Dick and Jane are married.  They decide to run their business as sole proprietors.

They want to save money, so they will use a home office.

 …See Dick and Jane talk to their insurance professional about liability insurance and get a rider on their homeowner policy to cover the business equipment.

See Dick and Jane talk to their tax, legal and banking professionals.

…See Dick and Jane write down their goals.  If they don't have goals, they won't know where they are going.  They need to know where they are going. …See Dick and Jane decide important business goals to make their family better.

 …See Dick get a book to help them understand a business plan.  See Dick and Jane have a written business plan.

To Continue Reading See Dick and Jane Start A Homebased Business

Apr 28, 2020

By Rebecca Parlakian Senior Director of Programs 202 857-2976 rparlakian@zerotothree.org

If you imagine this change may be harder for your child after months of “just you,” you are probably right.

Your young child has just had months of time with you at home. Most likely, there have been no other caregivers outside of your own family, due to shelter-in-place guidelines. But now—as communities begin to re-open—you may be facing a major transition for your family: Heading back to child care. If you imagine this change may be harder for your child after months of “just you,” you are probably right.

Here are some tips for managing the preschool transition post-COVID:

Remember that this is not just a regular transition back to school. Your family went through a tough time. You managed a lot of stressors—balancing work and family demands, financial concerns, worries about illness. Even very young children sense when there is stress in the household. Your child has managed this period of confusing changes and now they are encountering yet another big transition—going back to child care. Stress adds up and our resilience can be run down over time. Your sensitivity and patience are key ingredients for helping your child make a successful move back to their care setting.

Your worries are important. As communities re-open, you may have concerns about the safety of your child’s child care program. Many parents are feeling this way. Talk to your child’s teacher and the program director to learn what procedures they are using to keep children safe and healthy.

Use pretend play to explore the routines of preschool or child care with your toddler. Take turns being the parent, child, and teacher. Act out common daily routines, like saying good-bye to mommy and/or daddy, taking off your coat, singing songs, reading stories, having Circle Time, and playing outside.

Read books about child care. If you’re able to access a public library (or online stories), choose a few titles about going to preschool or child care. Talk about the story and how the characters are feeling. Ask how your child is feeling (excited, scared, worried, happy?). Check out titles like The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn, I Love You All Day Long by Francesca Rusackas, Bye-Bye Time by Elizabeth Verdick, or Llama Llama Misses Mama by Anna Dewdney.

Listen to your child’s worries. It’s tempting to quickly reassure your child and move on, but when you listen and respond to children’s worries, they feel safe and supported. Explain that starting something new can bring up worries and questions and that lots of people feel that way. It can also be helpful to share a time when you started something new and how you felt.

Suggest coping strategies. When you allow your child to share her worries, you can help her think through how to deal with them. For example, if she is worried about missing you, the two of you can make a book of family photos to keep in her cubby and look at when she is lonely.

Notice nonverbal messages. Most 2- and 3-year-olds are not able to use language to fully explain how they are feeling. Your child may “act out” his worry by clinging, becoming withdrawn or more fussy, or by being more aggressive. Another common reaction is for children to begin using more “baby-like” behaviors. For example, if your child is fully potty trained, he may start have toileting accidents. He may ask that you feed or dress him even though he can do these things by himself.

It’s natural to be frustrated by this return-to-baby behavior. But by meeting your child’s need for nurturing with love and patience, you’ll find they soon return to their “big kid” behavior. Remember that your child is facing—and managing—a big change in their life. They may need more support from you during this transition.

Get back into the routines of bedtimes and waking times. The transition to child care is easier when you are not also dealing with an tired, cranky little one. In the week before your return to your child’s program, begin to use “school night” bedtimes and wake-up times so that everyone can get back into the child care routine.

When your child starts back, ask whether there is a new drop-off routine. Because of new health screening and sanitizing requirements, you may not be able to stay with your child to help them transition during morning drop-off. Talk to your provider about new drop-off procedures and ask if it will be possible to have a teacher stay with your child to help them with the separation.

Consider letting your child bring a special object from home. Does your child have a favorite stuffed animal or blanket that offers comfort? Check with your child care program to confirm your child can bring this object from home. A favorite teddy bear can ease the transition when you say good-bye at drop-off. A family photo in your child’s cubby can also be comforting.

Talk with your child’s teacher about how you soothe your child. When teachers use similar comfort methods, babies and toddlers feel more safe and “at-home” in the child care setting.

Keep your tone positive and upbeat. Children pick up on the reactions of the trusted adults in their lives. So try not to look worried or sad, and don’t linger too long when it’s time to go. Say a quick, upbeat good-bye and reassure your child that all will be well.

Think about creating a special good-bye routine. For example, you can give your child a kiss on the palm to “hold” all day long. Or, the two of you can sing a special song together before you leave. Good-bye routines are comforting to children and help them understand and prepare for what will happen next.

This hasn’t been an easy few months, but the return to child care is one sign that life is going back to (a new) normal. Supporting your child through this process—staying patient and loving even in the face of challenging behaviors—is a loving way to take that next step, together.

Looking for more information? Visit  zerotothree.org/coronavirus for our latest resources and updates for families.

Our family experienced this and I knew it was important to openly share our story, so I am beginning a series of articles explaining what we went through and how we survived the journey...

Over the years I have helped families understand and navigate the difficulties they face as loved ones age and I continue to do so. There are numerous resources and solutions available, which I freely share. I have  highlighted services we used.

My two brothers and I grew up outside of New York City and our parents retired to an upstate farm. Our youngest brother, Jon, brain damaged by his DPT shot, was moved to a nearby group home.

Our parents enjoyed their retirement years in peace and tranquility.

As our California family grew, we visited periodically.  Our kids loved driving on the tractor, seeing the cows being milked and swinging on the rope in the barn.

Life was good for all of us.

That all changed when my 87 year-old mother fell and broke her hip 2 days before daughter, Julie, and I were scheduled to visit. 

 Upon our arrival we began cooking meals, cleaning and making daily visits to Mom in the hospital, where she was in good spirits and healing well.

Before we left I arranged for a local caregiving company to provide light housekeeping services and Meals on Wheels to deliver meals.

About 2 years later our entire family visited them.  We stayed in a beautiful B & B, where we held joint 89 and 90th birthdays for our parents.

But we had no idea how much of a blessing this would become, when just 8 months later we lost Mom to a stroke.

Her death began a devastating chain of events for all of us…

My experience with online dating left me frustrated and upset, too.  That is UNTIL I stumbled upon Virtual Speed Dating!

Covid-19 has changed things, including dating.

My late husband and I met in high school and had a great, long lasting marriage.

Throughout our marriage, we had always wanted to help singles meet the loves of their lives, so back in the day we created a game show for singles called Icebreakers©.

Now, discovering Virtual Speed Dating has changed my whole opinion of 21st Century Covid-19 dating.

 It allowed me to see my own potential dates within a safe distance, in a safe spot from my own home! I met new people and bypassed the conventional chit-chat found in initial texting and phone calls…

 And I met someone!

I had so much fun that as a Facilitator of Groups, I have decided to begin hosting my own Speed Dating sessions for Orange County (CA) for Christian Singles.  I’m going to start with the 50 and over crowd.

Please check us out and plan to join us if finding new, genuine connections for friendship, romance or business within the Orange County (CA) Christian Single community sounds exciting to you.

Check us out on Eventbrite: 

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/virtual-speed-dating-for-oc-christian-singles-50-and-over-tickets-138092956751

1. Worthwhile Goals: Examples might be - Start a Business, Debt Reduction, Go Back to School.  These are worthwhile goals.

2. Achievable Goals: Goals that can be targeted and easily accomplished can be achieved.

3. Be Specific:  How are you going to do the goal? Example:  I am going to “lose weight”  by “eating whole foods and exercising”.

4. Commit to Your Goals: Dedicate yourself to the goal. Write it down. Be persistent.

5. Make Your Goal Public: Put it on Social Media. Tell your friends. This leads to accountability. This is what my Groups of Encouragement (GOE) do for the members. Please check it out: https://www.eventbrite.com/d/online/jeanne-gormick  

6. Prioritize Your Goals: Don’t choose too many.  No more than 3 at a time.

7. Make Your Goals Real to You: A Vision Board will help. (See mine above.) Put a date to it. Share your success as you accomplish each goal. Make notes of what you are going to do, when you have achieved the goal.

8. Set Deadlines to Accomplish Your Goals: Create a Plan of Action.

9. Evaluate Your Goals: How are you going to overcome obstacles for the next time?

10. Reward Yourself for Accomplishments:  Take the time to celebrate your success.

Thank you, Charles Muiruri (President of Christian Business Partners, Fontana, CA) for presenting today!

Below is a great article by Careen Strange explaining why Stay at Home Moms (SAHM) need the help and support of a Mentor Mom. What better way to get the support of both a Mentor Mom Facilitator and a group of Mom Friends than to join a virtual group directly addressing the needs of stressed out, frustrated Christian Moms. Find through Eventbrite Evite “Christ-centered Mom Friends Groups© Led By a Mentor Mom”.

- Jeanne

Finding a Mentoring Mom

September 24, 2019 by Careen Strange Family Tips

 When I was a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) with five little boys, I yearned for an older woman to talk to—someone who had walked the path ahead of me. I had a close relationship with both my mother and mother-in-law, but sometimes I needed a neutral voice to speak to my concerns. My husband and I were only children, so the chaos of rearing five children under age 10 was new to them as well as to me.

I never did find that perfect mentor. I read a few books which proved to be very helpful and opened my eyes to some things but for the most part, my learning resulted from on-the-job-training.

Women today have a plethora of resources, but mothers often experience a feeling of aloneness. It doesn’t simply go away by reading a blog or listening to a podcast.  What moms need is another woman who has walked the path to come alongside them and be their needed coach/encourager. 

So the question is, how does a young mother find that elusive older woman?

Sometimes it seems hard to connect with the right person, especially if you’re living in a new area. Where do you look? How do you start a relationship, especially when you might not know a ton of people? These suggestions might help.

Find a Mothers’ Group in your area.

Organizations such as Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPs) have been in existence for a number of years, and are a wonderful place to meet other mothers. In my own MOPs group, there is more emphasis lately on finding older women to connect as mentors with younger moms. In the first meeting of our local chapter, there were several older moms who were there for that purpose!

Begin with the obvious: Find someone you like.

We are naturally drawn to certain temperaments and personalities. Find a person you look forward to being with.

Make sure her family life is one you’d like to emulate.

Does her relationship with her family members exemplify love, honor, respect—in short, do you want to be where she is when you reach her age?

Seek someone who has had real-life experience.

Naturally, moms seek answers and validation from other mothers. The problem is, they are usually in the same season of life, and this can result in comparing themselves to one another. Sharing “mom-hacks” and other tips might be good, but hearing from someone who has proven herself in real life is essential.

Find a mother who will be honest with you.

You’re not looking for someone who simply commiserates with you. You want someone who is willing to point out blind spots for you and is willing to speak the truth in love. Allow her to do that.

Don’t hesitate to ask her to meet with you.

In the old days, young women probably bonded with the older generation as they stitched quilts or shelled peas. Motherhood is inherently lonely—a fact a woman doesn’t realize until she becomes a mother. Ironically, when our children grow up and leave the nest, a different kind of loneliness can set in.  Connecting women in these two seasons can be life-giving for both generations.

Realize you might meet a need for her, as well.

To reiterate the previous point: sometimes a “retired” mother might feel she has served, worked, loved, and sacrificed all those years and is full of good advice, but nobody cares. You might do her a great favor by asking her to share her wisdom with you.

Enjoy the relationship!

It will likely last for years to come. Next, to rearing my own family, my personal experience as a mentor to young mothers has been my most fulfilling role. The years slipped by quickly and now I’m still in touch with some of the younger mothers who now have grown children of their own, and they, in turn, are reaching out to those coming behind them. 

Maya Angelou expressed it best when she said…  

Some of the things I know, I know only because older women have told me their secrets.

I have lived and am living long so that I can tell my secrets to younger women.

That’s the reason we women go on improving.

A note about the author:

Careen Strange is the author of Hello, Young Mothers, an honest and comical look at the realities of day-to-day motherhood. She and her husband, Burt, have been married 50 years, raised five sons, and are now grandparents to 11 grandchildren. To learn more about Careen and her work with young mothers, visit careenstrange.com. 

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Beta Test a new Mom Friends Groups© Led by Mentor Mom Now!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/christ-centered-mom-friends-groups-led-by-a-mentor-mom-tickets-132853695981